Helicopter parents

Introduction

The term ‘helicopter parents’ is an interesting expression that was incepted in the year 1990. Jim Fay, a school and discipline professional consultant together with Foster Cline, a psychiatrist used it in one of their work concerning teaching the children responsibility. This term is basically used to allude to the parents who are overprotective, over concerned or over engaged with the lives of their children who are adults and are maybe in college. The helicopter parents are usually concerned with their children and assume the status of negotiators and do dominate the lives of their adult children through creating a path and offering them a prestigious life. These helicopter parents are usually engaged in the entire lives of their children. This goes as far directly participating in the job application process, and further negotiating the terms and conditions of the job by their children’s companies. These are the kind of parents that make follow ups to colleagues concerning their children’s grades and are very concerned about the private life of their children

The parenting debate

Helicopter parents offer a style of rearing children where the further or the mother becomes overprotective hence discouraging the child from being independent as the parents do get completely involved in the lives of their children. It is a kind of parenting where the parents swoop or avert any discomforts or challenges that may come in the way of their children. This type of parenting has elicited a lot of debate on its efficiency and influence to the life of the child, with some warming up to the idea while other warning about its dire consequences in the future lives of the children. There have been beliefs pervasively held concerning the treatment of the children by the parents to be a make or break issue and that eventually impacts on the general development of the child’s life. Various quarters have indicated that the behavior of the parents towards their children is instrumental. However, it has been noted that the treatment that the parents give to their children and the cooperation by the two parents as co-partners in raising the child in an environment is even more crucial. This is because through the treatment given to the child, the child is in a position to know how to handle relationships and the relationship overtly determines the way the child handles the challenges that face him or her at school or at work. (Higley, 2012)

There has been a backlash on the issue of over parenting. There are those who have a view that such parents who are the helicopter parents engage in everything, leaving the child with nothing to do or to learn on his or her own. For instance, these parents are the sole problem solvers for their children. As much as it is appreciated that the parents play a vital role in the lives of the children, there are those who think that over protecting the children amounts to more harm than good. That the children are ultimately left with no space of making their own choices and may never learn how to address the issues and challenges that come their way in their adult life. Helicopter parenting is further blamed for the common marriage problems that some people experience. For the men, it is believed that those who were taken through helicopter parenting would want to do the same in their families as they would have a feeling of insecurity to their wives and children. Children are not given the space and chance to be their own persons as they are treated like robots that are controlled and directed. This is said to be a poor way of parenting.

There has however been an argument in support for helicopter parenting. These quarters believe that the parents have a role of providing protection for their children against mistakes, disappointments and harm throughout their lives and as much as they can. Some have had a view that the overprotective nature of the parents is always as a result of the parents’ fear for the safety and development of their children, and that this adds up to self worth. The parents do impart values that if good, then the children will grow to be responsible in their later lives. The act of the parents attaching their own self worth to the children is often seen as a good attribute, especially if the parents are responsible and mean good for their children. As a result of helicopter parenting, the children learn and do not make a lot of mistakes. (Nelson, 2010)

Conclusion

Helicopter parenting has its basis on the fact that the parents do find it very difficult to let go of their children and are always in constant intervention in the lives of their children. This is often seen by some as a bad way of upbringing children as they do not have the time to make mistakes on their own and even to acknowledge their own mistakes and learn on their own. However, others view helicopter parenting as a positive way of raising children and that it is a sign of love and concern. These people think that this way of parenting makes the children to be caring in their family lives in future.

Work cited

Higley, D. Momaholic: Crazy Confessions of a Helicopter Parent. NY: Thomas Nelson Inc, 2012

Nelson, M. Parenting Out of Control: Anxious Parents in Uncertain Times. New York: NYU Press. 2010